I am Bethany and I’m 22 years of age.
After a traumatic childhood including bullying and self harm, I was led down the path of sneaking out, partying on the weekends and promiscuity.
When I was 15, I moved in with a 21 year old man. I was young and insecure and it was my choice to be there but he once was sexually abusive and physically and emotionally abusive continuously. I gave birth to our beautiful daughter Blake at 16 years of age. She proved to be the strength I needed to get through. Unfortunately after the hospital I slowly developed an eating disorder.
My partner at the time was very controlling and threatened to throw out my healthy foods during my new found attempt at a healthy diet plan to lose weight after birth. I remember him subtly humiliating me in front of friends and family about my weight and eating habits. With this abuse I slowly got more obsessed with calories and exercise. Within 3 months of giving birth I went from 132 lbs to 101 lbs.
Blake gave me the strength I needed to leave and start healing from this disorder, unfortunately I made the mistake of going back to him once and then letting him see our daughter for 3 and a half years after which did no good to my mental health and self esteem, as well as Blake’s routine. Even when we were not in a relationship he would belittle me and criticize my parenting, as well as emotional blackmail me using our daughter.
At 20 years of age I met a wonderful man Billy, we moved far away from my ex and within a few months he no longer had contact with Blake. Since then it has been rocky for me as I repressed many memories of the abuse and am dealing with the trauma of the memories but am helping myself heal with counseling and anti depressants. I have been fully healed from my eating disorder for around 6 months and it’s been a long time since it was severe and I am lucky it has never gotten as severe as many others. It’s been mostly a mental battle. I am so blessed to have my daughter Blake. When times have been hard she has been my motivation for us to live a happy healthy life, because in the end that’s all I ever strive for.
I am Bethany, I love and accept myself.